Portal Cake, no longer a lie...

*Update* Entered the cake in the Buffalo Niagara Heritage Village German Festival on 6/16/12 and it won Best German Themed and Best Cake All Around! WOOT!

Screen shot courtesy of UnderDog

The game Portal is set in the mysterious Aperture Science Laboratories, in which, players must solve physical puzzles and challenges by opening portals, maneuvering objects, and moving themselves through space in ways that used to be impossible. They say, "The cake is a lie". I say, "Not anymore, it ain't."

The recipe listed in the game is as follows:

1 (18.25 oz) package chocolate cake mix
1 can prepared coconut frosting
3/4 cups vegetable oil
4 large eggs
1 cup semi-sweet chocolate chips
3/4 cup butter or margarine

2/3 cups granulated sugar
3 large eggs
1 teaspoon vanilla extract
2 cups all purpose flour
2/3 cups cocoa
1/4 teaspoon baking soda

1 teaspoon salt
1/4 teaspoon baking powder
1/3 cups water
1 to 2 (6 oz each) vanilla frosting

Don't forget garnishes such as:
Fish-shaped crackers
Fish-shaped candies
Fish-shaped solid waste
Fish-shaped dirt
Fish-shaped ethylbenzene
Pull-and-peel licorice
Fish-shaped volatile organic compounds and sediment-shaped sediment
Candy-coated peanut butter pieces (shaped like fish)
1 cup lemon juice
Alpha resins
Unsaturated polyester resin
Fiberglass surface resins and volatile malted milk impoundments
9 large egg yolks
12 medium geosynthetic membranes
1 cup granulated sugar
An entry called: "How to Kill Someone with Your Bare Hands"
2 cups rhubarb, sliced
2/3 cups granulated rhubarb
1 tbsp. all-purpose rhubarb

1 tsp. grated orange rhubarb
3 tbsp. rhubarb, on fire
1 large rhubarb
1 cross borehole electromagnetic imaging rhubarb
2 tbsp. rhubarb juice
Adjustable aluminum head positioner
Slaughter electric needle injector
Cordless electric needle injector
Injector needle driver
Injector needle gun
Cranial caps

And it contains proven preservatives, deep-penetration agents, and gas- and odor-control chemicals that will deodorize and preserve putrid tissue.

Ingredients omitted by the cake core include:
1 tsp. vanilla extract
2/3 cup cocoa powder
1 1/4 tsp. baking soda
1 tsp. salt
1/4 tsp. baking powder
1 to 2 (16 ounces each) cans vanilla frosting
A 20-foot thick impermeable clay layer


Well this is terrible, I mean you could follow this but no one would want to eat it.
So I adjusted it to make it tastier.

8 cups plus 2 tbls flour, 4 tsp baking powder, 3 tsp baking soda, 2 tsp salt, 4 sticks unsalted butter, softened, 4 cups sugar, 2 tsp pure vanilla extract, 6 large eggs, 4 cups buttermilk (or two boxes of Betty Crocker will do too)

Mix well and pour into two well greased 9 inch round cake pans. Bake at 350 degrees for 30 minutes. Flip onto a wire rack to cool.

Spread coconut pecan frosting thickly. Then set the second cake on top.

Frost the entire exterior thickly with whipped milk chocolate frosting.

Smooth it down evenly and make a slight divot around the center.

Sprinkle chopped pecans on top and then press handfuls of nuts into the sides of the cake.

The nuts should be layered on thickly.

Squirt on whipped cream in two layers in eight spots.

Select eight cherries and dry them well on a paper towel then place, centered, onto the whipped cream.

The best candle is a white Hanukkah dipped taper.

This thick cake is very rich, so slice thinly, and enjoy with a tall glass of milk.

"Anyway, this cake is great. It's so delicious and moist."―GLaDOS in "Still Alive"

Gingersnap Gingerbread Geodesic Domes

3/4 cup unsalted butter, room temperature
1/2 cup brown sugar and 1/2 cup white sugar
1/4 cup unsulphured molasses
1 large egg
1/2 tsp pure vanilla
2 cups mix of whole grain wheat and white flour

1/2 tsp baking soda
1/4 teaspoon salt
1 1/2 teaspoons ground cinnamon
2 teaspoons ground ginger1/2 teaspoon ground cloves

In a large bowl, beat the butter and sugars until light and fluffy (about 2 - 3 minutes).

Add the molasses, egg and vanilla and beat until smooth. In a separate bowl whisk together the flour, baking soda, salt, and spices. Add to the butter mixture and mix until well combined. Cover and chill the batter for about 30 minutes or until firm. 

Pre-heat the oven to 350 degrees. Roll out the dough and cut the necessary number of shapes to create your gingerbread "house". This dome used trapezoids, pentagons, and hexagons. A regular house might use rectangles and triangles. Design one on paper, mock it up in cardboard and then use those cardboard pieces as patterns for your final product.

Bake for 12 minutes. You'll need to recut the cookies once they're done baking to give them nice sharp clean edges.

Do this while they are still warm so the cookies don't snap or shatter. Make the 1 inch snaps out of the left over dough.

The houses will not be for eating as you will be using Royal Icing to put them together. Royal Icing is made using 1 lb powdered sugar, 1 tsp of water and two egg whites. Beat until smooth and glossy. If you want it colored, drip in food coloring now and mix until the color is fully incorporated.

Use the icing as mortar, sticking tiles to your frame, together, or to add details. Use your imagination!

Leto's dome for school got plugged with orange candies at each corner, creating a blue and orange igloo.
Short i sound...
i...i...igloo!

Mannie's dome had curly peaks of icing in the corners.

The Occupy Buffalo Food Tent got this one in honor of their dome that allows them to gather together in the cold and wind in general comfort to talk about different issues. They are one of the very few Occupy groups in the United States treated with respect and dignity and the City of Buffalo is actually listening to and working with them.

These gingersnaps are easy to make with applesauce as substitute for eggs. You end up with a snap more like the Swedish Anna's Ginger Thins, which are super duper scrumdiddlyumptious!

Day 3 - Breakfast with Spars on International Bacon Day

Breakdown cost of this meal.

6 organic eggs $2.00

Spars Bacon $6.39

Rye and Pumpernickel Swirl Bread $3.89

Strawberry Balsamic Jam

Tea, water, and some one snuck in orange juice (Oh those sneaky children!)

Total cost for 5 servings = $12.28

Since today was chock full of birthday parties and other mayhem I decided it was going to have to be breakfast, rather than dinner for today's challenge. Spars is divine, no matter what you choose. Their selection of local products as well as their outstanding locally made sausages, deli meats, bacon and more are well worth any wait at the counter!