S'more Cookies - No Eggs!

These taste just like S'mores, minus the heavy processed garbage ingredients and minus the sick feeling you get after eating two traditional fire burnt sweets. Try using this recipe if you can't find organic marshmallows.

1/2 cup each whole wheat flour & white flour
1 1/2 cup steel cut oats (toasted)
1 tsp baking soda
1 teaspoon salt
1 cup (2 sticks) butter, softened
3/4 cup granulated sugar
3/4 cup packed brown sugar
1 teaspoon vanilla extract
1/4 cup applesauce (The snack cups are perfect for this recipe.)
1/4 cup chocolate chips
1/2 cup mini marshmallows

Toast the oats in a tiny bit of butter. Combine flour, oats, baking soda and salt in small bowl. Beat butter, granulated sugar, brown sugar, and vanilla extract in large mixer bowl until creamy. Add the applesauce, beating well. Gradually beat in flour and oat mixture. Stir in chocolate chips and marshmallows.

Drop rounded tablespoon onto a very well greased baking sheet. Bake at 365 degrees for 15 minutes. Cool on a wire rack.

Milano Cookies - No Eggs!

Craving Milano Cookies from Pepperidge Farm, which I can't have because they have eggs in them really stinks! So after playing around with a family favorite cookie recipe and a nearly empty jar of Nutella I discovered I actually can have them now.

1/2 pound of sweet, unsalted butter
2/3 cup sugar
1/4 cup yogurt
1/4 tsp baking powder
1/8 tsp salt
1 1/2 tsp vanilla
2 1/3 cups flour
Blend thoroughly  Roll in wax paper and freeze for 30 minutes. Slice thinly.




Bake at 350* for 15 minutes. Wire rack cool. Smear with Nutella and stack.

 Enjoy stacked with a tall glass of milk.

Chunky Monkey Ice Cream-No Eggs No Added Sugar

Slice two bananas and freeze.

Rough chop 1 cup of walnuts.

Add bananas, 1 pint of heavy cream and 4 tbls of organic chocolate syrup to mixer.

Add in 1 1/2 cups milk or light cream.

 Add in walnuts.

Add in large chunk chocolate.

 Mix until whipped smooth. Pack into two storage containers and freeze for one hour.

Scoop and serve!

Portal Cake, no longer a lie...

*Update* Entered the cake in the Buffalo Niagara Heritage Village German Festival on 6/16/12 and it won Best German Themed and Best Cake All Around! WOOT!

Screen shot courtesy of UnderDog

The game Portal is set in the mysterious Aperture Science Laboratories, in which, players must solve physical puzzles and challenges by opening portals, maneuvering objects, and moving themselves through space in ways that used to be impossible. They say, "The cake is a lie". I say, "Not anymore, it ain't."

The recipe listed in the game is as follows:

1 (18.25 oz) package chocolate cake mix
1 can prepared coconut frosting
3/4 cups vegetable oil
4 large eggs
1 cup semi-sweet chocolate chips
3/4 cup butter or margarine

2/3 cups granulated sugar
3 large eggs
1 teaspoon vanilla extract
2 cups all purpose flour
2/3 cups cocoa
1/4 teaspoon baking soda

1 teaspoon salt
1/4 teaspoon baking powder
1/3 cups water
1 to 2 (6 oz each) vanilla frosting

Don't forget garnishes such as:
Fish-shaped crackers
Fish-shaped candies
Fish-shaped solid waste
Fish-shaped dirt
Fish-shaped ethylbenzene
Pull-and-peel licorice
Fish-shaped volatile organic compounds and sediment-shaped sediment
Candy-coated peanut butter pieces (shaped like fish)
1 cup lemon juice
Alpha resins
Unsaturated polyester resin
Fiberglass surface resins and volatile malted milk impoundments
9 large egg yolks
12 medium geosynthetic membranes
1 cup granulated sugar
An entry called: "How to Kill Someone with Your Bare Hands"
2 cups rhubarb, sliced
2/3 cups granulated rhubarb
1 tbsp. all-purpose rhubarb

1 tsp. grated orange rhubarb
3 tbsp. rhubarb, on fire
1 large rhubarb
1 cross borehole electromagnetic imaging rhubarb
2 tbsp. rhubarb juice
Adjustable aluminum head positioner
Slaughter electric needle injector
Cordless electric needle injector
Injector needle driver
Injector needle gun
Cranial caps

And it contains proven preservatives, deep-penetration agents, and gas- and odor-control chemicals that will deodorize and preserve putrid tissue.

Ingredients omitted by the cake core include:
1 tsp. vanilla extract
2/3 cup cocoa powder
1 1/4 tsp. baking soda
1 tsp. salt
1/4 tsp. baking powder
1 to 2 (16 ounces each) cans vanilla frosting
A 20-foot thick impermeable clay layer


Well this is terrible, I mean you could follow this but no one would want to eat it.
So I adjusted it to make it tastier.

8 cups plus 2 tbls flour, 4 tsp baking powder, 3 tsp baking soda, 2 tsp salt, 4 sticks unsalted butter, softened, 4 cups sugar, 2 tsp pure vanilla extract, 6 large eggs, 4 cups buttermilk (or two boxes of Betty Crocker will do too)

Mix well and pour into two well greased 9 inch round cake pans. Bake at 350 degrees for 30 minutes. Flip onto a wire rack to cool.

Spread coconut pecan frosting thickly. Then set the second cake on top.

Frost the entire exterior thickly with whipped milk chocolate frosting.

Smooth it down evenly and make a slight divot around the center.

Sprinkle chopped pecans on top and then press handfuls of nuts into the sides of the cake.

The nuts should be layered on thickly.

Squirt on whipped cream in two layers in eight spots.

Select eight cherries and dry them well on a paper towel then place, centered, onto the whipped cream.

The best candle is a white Hanukkah dipped taper.

This thick cake is very rich, so slice thinly, and enjoy with a tall glass of milk.

"Anyway, this cake is great. It's so delicious and moist."―GLaDOS in "Still Alive"

Chocolate Brownies - No Eggs!

1/3 cup all-purpose flour
1 cup water
1/2 cup butter
2/3 cup unsweetened cocoa powder
2 cups white sugar
1 teaspoon vanilla extract
2 cups all-purpose flour
2 1/2 teaspoons baking powder
1/2 teaspoon salt
1/2 cup chocolate bites

Preheat oven to 350 degrees. Grease a 9x13 inch pan. In a heavy saucepan combine the 1/3 cup of flour and water. Cook over medium heat stirring constantly until thick. Transfer to a mixing bowl and set aside to cool.

In a small saucepan, melt butter. When butter has melted, add the cocoa and mix until smooth; set aside to cool. Beat the sugar and vanilla into the cooled flour mixture. Stir in the cocoa mixture until well blended. Combine the flour, baking powder and salt, stir into the batter until just blended. Fold in the chocolate chunks. Spread evenly in the prepared pan.

Bake for 20 to 25 minutes in the preheated oven, until a toothpick inserted into the center comes out clean. Cool before cutting into bars.